Open to Join Sunhigh Birdsong

Even the smallest pebble can make ripples that change the course of the stream.

⋘ ──── ∙∙•🌑•∙∙ ──── ⋙

Greypebbles' ears folded back as Smallbird's voice cracked, each trembling word sinking into him like cold rain. He had grown used o reading her quiet moods, the little hesitations in her paws... but this, this outpour of hurt, made his heart twist until he felt almost sick with it.

He inched closer, slow and deliberate, making sure she had time to pull away if she needed to. When she didn't he settled beside her, their pelts brushing. Not crowding, just there. A steadying point. "Smallbird..." His voice was soft, quieter even than usual, yet sure. "You're not failing. You're... you're trying. Really trying. And that matters more than anything you think you're messing up."

He hesitated, claws flexing against the earth as if grounding himself before he continued. "I don't always know what I'm doing. I just... follow the cats I trust. And sometimes I mess up too. A lot. I've been scared of not fitting in since we were kits." His gaze flicked to Bravesong, then back to his sister. "But you never made me feel like I didn't belong. Not once."

Smallbird's wails threatened again, and Greypebbles instinctively leaned closer, touching his nose lightly to her shoulder, brief but full of sincerity.

"And you're not boring. Or useless. You're thoughtful. You care so much it hurts you. And cats do want to be around you, me and Spidertongue most of all." His voice wavered a fraction, but steadied. "You don't drain us. You don't burden us. You're our sister. We want you here."

He glanced towards the squirrel Bravesong nudged over, then back to Smallbird with a faint, encouraging flick of his bobbed tail. "You don't have to eat it if you can't. Just... stay. That's enough." A soft breath slipped from his, almost a shy laugh. "And you're worth the effort, Smallbird. Every whisker of it."

Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished
✧ ⭒ ♦ ⭒ ♖ ⭒ ♦ ⭒ ✧

Bravesong listened to every word. He hadn't moved closer to respect Smallbird's space, but he hoped his warmth reached anyway.

"When did you become so wise, Greypebbles?" He purred, shaking his head as if he were staring into a pool and seeing a reflection of himself look back at him. The black and white tom, seemingly aged beyond his moons, continued.

"You might think you're failing because you care about doing things right. Cats who don’t care don’t worry like this. And they don’t try the way you do." He wasn't so sure about Greypebble's being so well liked. He liked to think his former apprentice was, but he'd seen the struggle and the pockets of cats that interacted most often from his nest.

"You haven't pushed us away. I’m here because I chose to be." He let that sit, plain and true. If he thought Smallbird dislikable or boring, he'd have gone to wander off for a nap already. "Not because you were alone, not because I felt obligated. It was because I like your company. You're a very thoughtful cat."

There’s always something to do.
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

”But…” Smallbird began and then gave up. She was failing. Yes she was trying, but she was failing too. Yet Greypebbles wouldn’t hear it and her words felt wasted. The gray tabby she-cat sighed, not exactly comforted but no longer having the energy to argue. How was it that her brother couldn’t see her faults and flaws? Or was it more that he was in denial about them? If that was the case, why? She had no answers and was only succeeding in making herself feel more dejected.

Greypebbles continuation pulled Smallbird out of her thoughts with a measure of surprise. He didn’t know what he was doing? But the tom always seemed so sure of himself to Smallbird. Confusion overtook the she-cat’s eyes and she finally looked up and met his gaze properly. ”But Greypebbles,” she mewed in protest, ”you always seem to know what you’re doing. I don’t think I’ve ever seen or heard of you messing up.” Smallbird’s tone and gaze held nothing but genuine confusion.

The gray tabby she-cat found herself nodding sadly in agreement to the comment that she cared so much that it hurt. That was certainly beyond true. She stressed about everything because she cared about whether she was doing things properly and appropriately. Yet she struggled so much with feeling like she was achieving that. She didn’t know what to do but it was comforting to know that for now she wasn’t driving her brothers away. Smallbird turned her gaze toward Bravesong thoughtfully. But what about her clanmates? Did Bravesong feel the same way Greypebbles did? He had no reason to. Nor did anyone else. Yet the tom had said he did earlier, hadn’t he? Or something close to it? The she-cat’s memories were swirling and dancing with her thoughts and she was no longer sure of the truth.

”I…Bravesong deserves it more,” Smallbird replied in a small voice, her stomach clenching with her tormoiling emotions. ”But is caring really such a good thing if you are incapable of succeeding?” she asked sadly. She wasn’t crying anymore, if anything her emotions were steadily moving toward a state of numbness to protect herself. Something that was obvious from the way she was beginning to stare absently. ”But why do you like my company? I don’t ever say anything interesting or amusing…I have no admirable skills, nor am I particularly comforting or friendly,” Smallbird mewed, once more in a sad yet confused tone. Her questions were more genuine than one might believe.

Even the smallest pebble can make ripples that change the course of the stream.

⋘ ──── ∙∙•🌑•∙∙ ──── ⋙

"You're the only one that thinks you're failing." Greypebbles replied, placing once of his grey paws onto hers. A gesture that was intended to be comforting and grounding through all the grief and self doubt. "If you were failing, there wouldn't be proof of your successes. You got your warrior name for succeeding at your assessments, for caring for your clan like it gave you life." His voice was soft, but it held truth, something that could be near undeniable.

Greypebbles held his breath for a moment before embracing his sister with a soft purr. "I've messed up, many times, you just didn't notice because you think of me higher than I am. We all have flaws, every one of us, me, you, Bravesong. Everyone." for a moment, he paused, letting the honesty in his words fill the air between the three cats. "There is always a chance for you to succeed, there is nothing that can't be worked on with a bit of practice." his words carried a little more hope and confidence now, but he didn't need to face anyone beside Smallbird to get it.

There was a quiet pause, a thought that crossed Greypebbles' mind before he gave his sister a warm, encouraging smile that he had a feeling she felt she didn't deserve. But he gave it because he knew deep down that she deserved that smile. 

"Tell you what," The small warrior began, shaking out his long grey fur, "Lets go on a few patrols together, you and me, and if you want more company, we can take Bravesong. We can figure out what you need help with and help you develop your skills. You're not a failure, you just need guidance."

Greypebbles then pressed his pink nose against his sister's cheek, soon after, giving her cheek a few soft licks of her tabby fur. "And for the record, caring is the best thing you can do. It shows your loyalty and that you have a heart. No cat hates being cared for and every cat needs care. We're here Smallbird, we're not leaving any time soon."

Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished
✧ ⭒ ♦ ⭒ ♖ ⭒ ♦ ⭒ ✧

Bravesong watched the two siblings quietly, his eye softening as Greypebbles pressed closer to offer comfort the way only a littermate could. In that way he was sort of envious. Bravesong was an only kit and his half siblings were a mixed bag when it came to support.

Then he spoke, voice warm and low. "You say I deserve it more but I don’t think you see yourself as clearly as others see you." Doubt was an all too familiar shape. He lifted his chin, eye catching the light.

"Your sincerity. You speak from the heart ...even when it hurts." His muzzle lowered to his twisted paw and gave it a few ginger licks between his toes. "Once this rogue is dealt with maybe you both can join me at Sunningrocks for a special mission." A corner of his maw teased into a slight smile, kitty brow aching as he glanced over at the pair.

There’s always something to do.
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

Smallbird closed her eyes as Greypebbles placed his paw on hers. She wanted to cry again. She couldn’t be the only one who saw her failures. He had to be just being nice. Surely? Of course. If others were as kind as Greypebbles, she would get invited to share tongues more. She would be wanted on patrols rather than simply taking her turn as is fair. No. No one liked her. They couldn’t like her until she fixed all her fatal flaws. But how could she explain this to her brother? Smallbird opened her eyes to look at him and decided that she couldn’t. There were no words to explain her thoughts. Besides, what he said was somewhat true. She had had some measure of success. She had earned her warrior name somehow.

”As you should be,” Smallbird whispered as she nuzzled against her brother’s warm fur, relaxing. She missed this kind of contact with another cat. Familiar. Comforting. Reassuring. Maybe that was her problem? Outside of Greypebbles and Spidertongue, the gray tabby she-cat had no real bonds within the clan. And was it not a duty of a she-cat to bear a litter for the clan? Without she-cats there would be no next generation to keep the clan going. Maybe, just maybe, her sense of failure was due to not having yet addressed this part of her duties? Smallbird tilted her head with a sense of curiosity. This conversation had been a river rapids of emotions, yet now the tabby warrior was feeling a sense of peace. Of course she kept feeling like there was something she had forgotten! She did have another duty to the clan that she hadn’t been addressing. It would take time, and it was going to be incredibly difficult with how socially awkward she was. But maybe Smallbird could find a tom she got along with enough to start seeing this part of her life out.

”Thank you Greypebbles,” Smallbird mewed and dipped her head gratefully before turning and licking her shoulder. Hope had filled her heart and this was allowing the tabby she-cat to feel more positive. ”I would appreciate that,” she replied to the offer to go on more patrols. ”And of course Bravesong can come along. It can’t be fun being stuck in camp all the time.” Smallbird gave Bravesong a small smile. She wasn’t yet feeling positive enough to sit up straight and tall. Nor could she simply become amazingly charismatic, but there was no harm in trying to make friends with the tom. Bravesong was already willing to be her friend despite her obvious flaws, so learning to make friends with him ought to be easier.

That peaked the gray tabby’s interest. ”A special mission?” Smallbird mewed with all the excited curiosity of a kit. Her eyes widened and her attention went fully onto Bravesong, Greypebbles half-forgotten at the idea of doing something special. ”You would really want me along for something like that?” Smallbird asked, not quite believing it.