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A Player Character played by Clover |
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Appearance Short Description : A black pelted cat with dark eyes and a short tail Long Description :
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Personality
Bayflower is usually found in a content mood, the black feline having a pretty optimistic view in life. They enjoy sunbathing, either cat-watching or watching other animals go on with their day-to-day lives. After all, what’s better than seeing the world being in a happy and healthy balance? Although Bayflower does their best to live in the moment and only think about the present and future, sometimes they’ll find themselves missing their littermates. Sure they weren’t super close or anything but after their deaths, sometimes they felt as if they were missing something… Of course, they’d never think about it for too long. What kind of warrior would they be if they lived in the past? It was their job to only live in the present and future to make sure the clan was well taken care of. Bayflower sees themselves as a very fearless cat, not afraid to throw themselves into a fight or attempt to climb the highest of trees due their trust in StarClan. They also don’t mind loud noises and environments. In fact, they quite like them! But one thought that upsets them is the thought of letting down all their clanmates. This stems from their belief that everything in life needs a balance and so they strongly believe that they must give back to the clan that raised and continues to shelter them. This is way Bayflower is often seen working hard, hunting and marking borders. Bayflower is already known to be a softer clan cat but something they really enjoy is being groomed by another cat. Essentially, being taken care of and/or given compliments and praised. It just makes them happy and keeps them away from their fears, the tom feeling like he is worth something and that all his day-to-day work pays off. “Oh my StarClan.” Bayflower CANNOT stand high-pitched noises; it just makes their ears so unhappy. Loud environments and sounds are fine but when it becomes high-pitched they just get so irritated. So things like kits throwing a tantrum via screaming pisses them off. It makes them flex their claws and make them hope that they never have kits of their own as much as they adore the little bundles of joy. Other than that, there’s nothing else that really annoys Bayflower, the tom being a generally open-minded and understanding cat who does what he can to not act like a petty rouge who got the smallest piece of fresh-kill in leaffall. They are a cat who has a habit of saying whatever is on their mind since it helps them process their thoughts better so you may often hear them mumbling to themselves. They swear there’s nothing wrong with them though! They’re just thinking aloud. Another habit of theirs is their habit to stretch all the time. Waking up? They’ll do a stretch. Caught the first piece of prey of the day? They’ll do a stretch. Where does this habit come from? Even they’re not sure but they sure do love stretching. |
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History Key Dates :
Full History :
Kithood (Kitten) 《0-6 moons old》 The time in Bayflower’s life where they were most boisterous and also when they learned basic social skills. Their poor mother had to constantly make sure that they didn’t swallow since well they just had a habit of nibbling on things. Bayflower had a pretty average kithood, little Baykit being a cheerful, energetic, and noisy as they tackled their sister from one end of the nursery to the other. Baykit was lucky enough to have a father who spent his free time with the kits and their mother and they had a decent relationship. Apprenticeship 《7-12 moons old》 In the first third of their apprenticeship, Baypaw was felt very motivated and eager to learn, the young cat finding joy in anything and everything they came across from the patch of herbs they walked by sometimes to defeating their sister in a spar, Baypaw just had this spark in them that was hard for their sister to compete with, which well… Eventually it led to some conflict. Baypaw’s spark came from their desire to be the perfect child for their parents who had taught them everything they had known until now but their sister just didn’t share that sentiment, instead finding Baypaw’s perfectionistic tendencies annoying and irritable. In the second third of Baypaw’s apprenticeship they matured faster than their sister in terms of things like emotional intelligence, leading to jealousy and anger from their sister and clashes within their family dynamic. The struggle of being on bad terms with their sister transferred into their training, the feline oftentimes either distracted or not wanting to get out of their nest. In the last third of Baypaw’s training they slowly went from being loud and bubbly to becoming a more quiet and reserved cat, the black feline still not having made amends with their sister. But at this point, they didn’t let it bother them anymore, deciding that if their littermate didn’t want to talk to them then that was her own problem. They almost failed their assessment but ended up passing. Warriorhood 《13-30 moons old》 They couldn’t believe it. Time really flew by. Just a few moons ago they were playing in the nursery with their sister but now, here they were, a full warrior who was allowed to leave camp whenever they wanted and basically do whatever they wanted as long as it followed the warrior code. Unfortunately for them, they still hadn’t made up with their sister but at least things could be worse, right? Not everything was all dark storms and clouds. Somedays were sunshines and rainbows too! Bayflower… That rolled off their tongue nicely.
When Bayflower was about 24 moons old they lost their father, mother, and sister to greencough which broke their heart since this was just when they were sure that they were starting to repair their relationship with their sister again. It wasn’t fair. But like every other warrior who lost their loved ones they couldn’t wallow in grief for too long, no longer taking lighter duties quatre a moon after their deaths. They were fine. They told themselves. They would see them again in StarClan even if that was in over 30 moons it wasn’t forever. They were watching over them… (The past six moons) The past six moons had not been easy to say the least despite the fact it had almost been an entire 12 moons since their family’s passing; Bayflower occasionally feeling a little depressed and lonely from the absence of their kin but they’d never let it get to them, snapping themselves out of it whenever it happened to focus on their duties as a warrior. They had to accept this. Life without its struggles would be way too easy. This was life’s way of keeping things balanced. With death. Maybe that was something only warriors who struggled with losses told themselves but that didn’t matter. All that mattered was that they continued to look up to StarClan while keeping their clan happy and healthy.
And with that mindset, Bayflower has been doing better compared to the day after the death of their family, the black feline keeping up their optimistic mindset and continuing to work hard to feed and support their clan. Recently, Bayflower had realised that in the past, most of their time was spent with their family. So despite their friendly demeanour they didn’t really know any of their clanmates and with that, Bayflower told themselves that they’d start to put themselves out there again and make a friend or two. Threads :
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Family Sire : Burnstone (A large black tom with dark brown eyes)
Dam : Shadeclaw (A midfurred chocolate molly with copper eyes and sharp features)
Other Family : Second cousins: Boulderdash, Nightrain, and Shadesleek |
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Pedigree & Geneology Pedigree :
Family Tree : |
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Significant Cats Mentor(s) : Pending Mentor (For characters awaiting mentor creation.) |
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Additional Details Genetics :
This character has been assigned a genetic code.
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Notes Bans Data : Bayflower has been compiled into the bans records. Bayflower is a Male Cat with a Black Non-color restricted pelt of Short Normal textured hair. They are of Medium Size and Semi-foreign build. Their eyes are Hazel and ears are Normal. Their tail is Short, with Normal paws and Normal legs. They are of Non-purebred descent. Last Updated : 2024-09-28 10:04 |
Just a quick post-approval note: Not bad enough to stop the approval, just a little typo you’ll want to address!
History: Baypaw was felt very motivated and eager to learn – Just a typo. I think you’re trying to say that they felt very motivated?
A quick note: Some of your formatting tweaked out. I cleaned it up for you. Technology. I swear.
History
Almost there now! Just a few history things left that are rooted in CoSC peculiarities!
First official round of getting to the nitty gritty. Don’t be discouraged if you have many rounds of edits.
PERSONALITY:
“Bayflower values basic respect above all else and will get upset when a cat is disrespectful, even if the cat who is being disrespected was disrespectful themselves because please they were warriors, not sad and petty little kittypets or rouges. ” – Grammer, reads as a run on sentence.
“They dream of being someone great like a leader and sometimes wishes they were a medicine cat. ” – What makes them want to be a medicine cat and regret being a warrior?
“Bayflower is known to be a very fearless cat, not afraid to throw themselves into a fight or attempt to climb the highest of trees. ” – Known to be fearless would be seen as powerplay. You could say that they think themselves very fearless, then describe why they’d think that.
“They also don’t mind loud noises and environments. In fact, they quite like them!” …”“Oh my StarClan.” Bayflower CANNOT stand high-pitched noises; it just makes their ears so unhappy. So things like kits throwing a tantrum via screaming pisses them off.” – These two statements are contradictory. Maybe just describe their dislike of kits as kit-avoidance.
“A cat who has a habit of saying whatever is on their mind since it helps them process their thoughts better so you may often hear them mumbling to themselves. They swear there’s nothing wrong with them though! ” – Do you mean to say ‘he is a cat who has a habit…?’
HISTORY:
” little Baykit doing what kits were best at which were being cheerful, energetic, and noisy” – While most kits may fit into that description, not all fall on that spectrum. Some can be pouty, shy, or withdrawn, etc.
” Baypaw just had this spark in them that was hard for their sister to compete with, which well… Eventually it led to some conflict. – Can you describe this spark in Baypaw and why there was such discrepancies between his sibling? Did they have a more experienced mentor than she did, did she suffer from something physical or mental holding her back?
“Not everything was all dark storms and clouds. Somedays were sunshines and rainbows too! Bayflower… That rolled off their tongue nicely…No… No… No no no no no no no! It wasn’t fair! Why did their father, mother, and sister have to all be taken by greencough!?” – Perspective shift? This reads as dialogue or inner monologue rather than statements. Doesn’t necessarily need to be changed, just seems confusing in context of the rest of his bio.
“Recently, Bayflower had realised that in the past, most of their time was spent with their family so despite their friendly demeanour they didn’t really know any of their clanmates and with that, Bayflower told themselves that they’d start to put themselves out there again and make a friend or two.” – Run on sentence that was really hard for me to read for some reason.
Overall, just review your grammer, spelling, and the points I mentioned above and you should be fine. Thank you!
Welcome to your first character review feedback! Don’t worry, cycles like this are perfectly normal. Most characters from new players will go through a round or two at least.
Personality: Overall – I have to ask you to rework your character’s personality into a more traditional narrative blurb style. The questionnaire style isn’t suited to this site. You could move the list of traits you believe the character has to the notes section for yourself, though.
History
I haven’t gotten into the nitty-gritty of your actual content, but I wanted you to be able to move things around and settle your layout stuff before I start looking into the changes the content may need.