Ask to Join Feast on a Clear Day

I’m still a Warrior no matter what you say!
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Boldclaw glanced up at the sun and growled lightly to himself. It wasn’t too warm today but he didn’t trust the weather to allow him to stay awake. Feeling restless and wishing he could leave camp for once, the cream tom began to pace around the camp, walking aimlessly but noticeably avoiding other cats and the warriors den. Every time he looked to his old den, his heart clench and a miserable sigh left him before he continued his pacing.

Annoyingly enough, other cats seemed to be enjoying themselves. Boldclaw paused in his trotting and glared at Basilflame. Why she was allowed to go out and be a warrior when he wasn’t infuriated him. She was just as old as he was. Boldclaw shook his head and sat down, trying to ignore the she-cat. How often had he been so eager to be better than her when they had been apprentices? Even after they had been given warrior names he still had taken pride in being more skilled, in his own opinion, than any of his other age-mates. But now, glancing at Basilflame, he couldn’t deny how far from that peak that he had sunk. She was a warrior, and a good one at that, while he was just a stinking elder wasting clan food and space.

Misery crept over Boldclaw and he sunk to the ground, resting his head on his paws, finally stilling completely. It hurt to see how everyone else continued their lives while he was expected to act like he had earned this early retirement. Lately, a part of the thick-set tom had been wondering if he should just leave Windclan altogether. Maybe another clan would take him in like Windclan had with Sunbear. Or he could just be a loner too. Yet in his heart of hearts, Boldclaw knew he belonged to Windclan alone and it pained him to even be considering leaving. He just wished he could do more for his clan like the other warriors. Once more the tom’s blue gaze was brought back to staring at his former long-time den-mate.

I’d rather bear the weight of others than let others carry pain alone.

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Basilflame perked her ears as she heard the pawsteps of her former denmate and her current agemate, Boldclaw pacing around camp restlessly and then lowered her ears. It pained her to see Boldclaw so upset about his situation, but what was there to do? If Gemini would catch Boldclaw sleeping, there would be nothing no cat could do to stop her, Basilflame dreaded the idea of finding another body on their territory.

When the pawsteps came to a pause, Basilflame turned her head to Boldclaw and met his blue eyes with her own hazel-green ones and met him with a welcoming smile. "Boldclaw!" She chirped, waving her tail in greeting and placing it on the ground next to her an invitation but not a command for company, if Boldclaw wished to stay by himself he was more than welcome to, but Basilflame wouldn't pass off the opportunity if it was right in front of her nose.

"You don't have to share the prey, but if you'd like, we could sit an chat, like old times." The flame-point she-cat offered, welcoming him with a nod of her head as she dipped into her rabbit, ripping out a fairly sizable chunk of flesh and breaking it down with her teeth. With the offer made, Basilflame said something more, simply licked the rabbit blood from her whiskers and leaned down for another bite.

I’m still a Warrior no matter what you say!
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Boldclaw blinked in shock and looked around as though there were some other entity that shared a name with him. Never in the tom’s wildest dreams had he considered that someone other than an elder would actually summon him to spend time with him. Tentatively the youthful elder rose to his paws and, glancing around once more as if another Boldclaw would appear, padded slowly to join Basilflame.

For once the creamy tom didn’t seem so bold or courageous as he settled about two tail-lengths away from the she-cat. He looked ready to bolt or attack at any moment. Boldclaw simply had no idea how to react to this interaction. Memories of bragging about his accomplishments to Basilflame as apprentices flitted through his mind. There was no way she could still admire him with all that had happened since those days when he was by far the superior apprentice and even warrior. Now he was a husk of who he had been, who he thought he was destined to be. Truly, the chocolate pointed tom expected to be shunned by the majority of his clanmates for being so seemingly useless, although he knew he was still more than capable even if a little more tired than others.

Quietly the Windclan tom watched Basilflame eat her rabbit and sadness stole over his heart once more. He ought to have caught that for her. Only moments had passed since the she-cat had offered conversation but it felt like moons of awkward silence for Boldclaw. ”What even is there to talk about?” the tom meowed bitterly. ”How the prey is running? Border patrols? Clan news?” Boldclaw snorted derisively and stared intensely at Basilflame. ”You ought to know just as well as the rest of the clan that I am not allowed to be a part of that life anymore. Forbidden from serving my clan sufficiently simply because Starclan calls me to sleep when they do not call most.”

Boldclaw shook his head and growled quietly to himself, clearly frustrated. He had decided that the best way to handle this encounter was to be angry. It was easier to be angry but it was also becoming wearying. It had been moons of anger at this point and Fawnstar still ignored him and his desire to serve his clan. Desperation was leaking into his heart and there were times were Boldclaw felt mad, insane, with all the emotion. Sometimes he wanted to cry, sometimes he wanted to tear something to shreds. Some days he just wished to lay in his nest and never get up. Yet he couldn’t do any of it without completely losing what little respect he still held from his clan. He couldn’t even talk it out, having made no close friends in his life. Boldclaw wasn’t even sure if he had friends. Certainly no one had made the effort to check on him since he was reranked as an elder.

I’d rather bear the weight of others than let others carry pain alone.

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The ginger pointed she-cat's head turned to follow Boldclaw as he approached, letting a smile curl her features sweetly, though it faltered slightly as he met her with the usual snappy attitude he had been displaying recently. He had been like that for moons now, Basilflame could recall it to the day he was being sent to the Elders' den. He had a right to his anger, his frustration, deep down she felt terrible for him, but she also knew he didn't want to be pitied like some kit, so she didn't approach him with sympathy.

"Whatever you feel like. I've got the rest of my day free." She replied, she wanted to add 'until dusk patrols come around' but she didn't wish to worsen his mood, especially now that he had seemed to have changed so much since she knew him as a boastful apprentice, she indulged him then, cheered him on. Perhaps that was part of the reason he was so frustrated with his situation.

For a moment, she took another fleshy bite of the rabbit, savoring the chunk like it meant everything to her, and for that moment, it did. She had no idea if this would be her last rabbit, her last conversation. With the Mad Rogue plaguing the clans... she didn't know what day would be her last, so she lived every day happy. Best die happy then unfulfilled.

Basilflame turned her hazel eyes back to Boldclaw, studying his expression, but didn't show much of anything that could be considered pity, just a sound understanding. "You can tell me whatever you'd like me to know, Boldclaw. I'll meet you halfway." she thought that Boldclaw would appreciate the gesture to speak to her like his own cat instead of just 'one of the elders' but she didn't feel confidence in it. However, her soft, kind gaze didn't falter, not for anyone.

I’m still a Warrior no matter what you say!
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Boldclaw blinked in surprise at Basilflame’s reply. He had honestly expected the she-cat to decide he wasn’t worth talking to given his attitude. Mentally thrown off, all the creamy tom found himself able to do was sit down properly and watch as his clanmate enjoyed more of her meal. A part of him felt irritated that she had mentioned that she had the rest of the day free when he would love to be busy.

The Windclan tom was just debating voicing his displeasure on Basilflame’s choice of words when she spoke again, leaving him more confused. She wanted him to vent? Every other cat had been annoyed by his complaints. Boldclaw narrowed his eyes and studied Basilflame for a moment. He couldn’t work out if she was being genuine or simply pitying him. The tom flicked his tail and half debated simply leaving this mockery. He just might have left too if it weren’t for the idea that if she actually cared she might be able to get things changed for him. He had no clue what sway or influence Basilflame had within the clan. He might have grown up with her but the creamy tom was often so self-absorbed that he had truthfully paid little attention to his clanmates.

“You really want to hear what I have to say?” he asked, the suspicion noticeable in his tone. “You really want to hear about how unfair our clan leader and deputy have been? Because why should cats like you be allowed to still protect and defend our clan while I have been forced to remain in camp like a kit? I did nothing but put my all in all my life! I have always done everything that was asked of me and it’s not my fault that Starclan calls to me, making me sleep!” At first Boldclaw had intended his words to simply be prodding tests of Basilflame’s actual intentions but with how frustrated he was he began to vent.

The seal pointed tom stared at the she-cat intently. “You have no idea how infuriating it is to watch your clanmates be injured and killed by some stinking rogue and then to be told to stay in the camp like a good boy! It’s not fair!” Boldclaw couldn’t help but stamp his paw like a whiney kit. With as worked up as he was getting, he also couldn’t help but have to fight a yawn that eventually broke its way out of his chest, leaving the tom glaring furiously across the camp as he dared not meet Basilflame’s gaze. “I didn’t ask to be like this, and yet I’m punished for it,” he added lamely as he became acutely aware of how his sudden onset of sleepiness proved the point of others, thus undermining his own points.

I’d rather bear the weight of others than let others carry pain alone.

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Basilflame didn't move her gaze as Boldclaw spat our his woes like they had been pressing on him for moons, from word of mouth, he had heard that he had been like this for moons, mostly complaints from some warriors she couldn't really recall right now, but she didn't really see this as something worth a complaint, he was angry, and it was justifiable. Basilflame didn't see an elder, she saw a warrior hit with the code's injustice. She assumed that is what Boldclaw saw in himself as well.

"I most certainly do." she confirmed honestly, her attention moving from her prey to the WindClan tom. "It's injustice. You never asked to be born the way you are, you didn't dictate that. You had no paw in this." She added, her fur ruffling slightly. While she wasn't pleased that Boldclaw had been placed in the Elders' den without a second thought, she did understand the idea that her milk-sister and Fawnstar had behind putting him, there, though it seemed Boldclaw didn't want to hear what she thought their side was.

However, he was angry at the situation he was forced into, rightfully. "You're right, I don't know, and you're right to think it's unjust. Your Sleepswoon shouldn't define who you are. Especially is something as important as your whole life's purpose as a warrior." Basilflame's voice wasn't harsh or snappy, but she held conviction, her own conviction that she supported wholly and assumed matched Boldclaw's, at least a small amount.

"I can't offer you solutions." Basilflame admitted, as much as she wished she could demand he be let out of the elders' den and be put back to his warrior duties, it wasn't as easy as that, and she lowered her ears at the fact. "But, I am here with you to listen. You can say whatever it is that you need to make me understand further if I haven't got it all." Her words came out genuine and kind-hearted. She wanted to make him feel heard, not less angry. "I'm here to listen."

I’m still a Warrior no matter what you say!
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Boldclaw narrowed his eyes at Basilflame, anger burning hotter when the she-cat declared that she had a clue of how he felt. How could she possibly have any real idea? Words! That’s all they were and they meant nothing to the furious tom. However, before he could voice his displeasure, Basilflame continued, her words dampening the rage within the creamy tom’s heart. Curiosity flickered enough for Boldclaw to hold his tongue. He hadn’t had any kind of support as far as he could see and now one of his long-term denmates seemed to understand. Seemed to, did not convince the Windclan elder that she was genuine in her understanding and he studied the pretty she-cat carefully, trying to detect whether this was pity or an expression of sympathy. Neither of which he wanted. He wanted change.

The more Basilflame talked, the calmer Boldclaw became, his anger shifting back into misery. ”What am I supposed to do?” he asked helplessly, a vulnerability present that seemed foreign to the tom’s personality. “I can talk until peace settles on all the clans, but they refuse to listen and nothing ever changes. They’ve condemned me to becoming a waste of resources and everyone seems okay with that. It’s like I never meant anything to anycat and now I must remain unseen, unheard.”

Boldclaw narrowed his eyes as he finished speaking. He didn’t like showing this vulnerable side of himself. He was supposed to be strong, powerful. A cat others admired and aspired to be. Yet here he was, wasting away in the elder’s den and reduced to relying on the pity of others. He still felt strong and powerful, he knew he would be able to complete warrior duties the same as others. The creamy tom watched Basilflame carefully, wondering about her reaction to this show of a normally disguised side of himself. He fully expected that now the show of pity would be clearly revealed and he would know that no cat truly cared or understood.

I’d rather bear the weight of others than let others carry pain alone.

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Basilflame let Boldclaw speak his mind, she didn't touch him, not even a tail placed on his shoulders it would be assumed as pity, but she wasn't cruel, she wanted to make sure that his struggles were understood, even if it was... different for her. But regardless, Basilflame didn't close the distance and took another bite of the rabbit, leaving it open for Boldclaw to take some if he wanted, but she didn't openly offer it. After all, she had heard from her mother that the act of offering prey angered him.

"I wouldn't know." Basilflame answered honestly to her agemate's question, flicking the tip of her tail like a wild flame. "The only cat that knows what's right for you, is you. It wouldn't be helpful for me to speak for you. I don't know what you feel. Perhaps... we could see if we could go hunting at some point." She added, speaking with the same tone as she had when he was ranting to her, but she was looking at him this time, her eyes soft but genuine, her brows weren't furrowed in pity, she wasn't frowning to protect his feelings, she was just... keeping the contact with her eyes.

When Boldclaw spoke about being a waste of resources, Basilflame took a few licked of her paws and then turned right back to the forced elder with stubborn kindness "I see you, I hear you. You're angry, upset. You feel useless but that doesn't have to be how it stays. I could talk with Aspenberry. We suckled from the same queen, raised together, if it would help. I'll try and convince her to put a good word in to Fawnstar, this doesn't have to be end all be all, Boldclaw. Whatever you think is right, I'll do what I can, I'll try." She spoke honestly, nothing hidden or covered, just honest words matched with her honest hazel gaze. "That is a clanmate's promise."

I’m still a Warrior no matter what you say!
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Boldclaw’s shoulders drooped as Basilflame spoke. It truly seemed like things would be hopeless for him. Born with a condition he didn’t ask for, and resigned to sitting uselessly in the elders’ den with no purpose. “Maybe,” he meowed quietly, uncertainty clear. The creamy tom heavily doubted Basilflame would make good on this suggestion. Likely after this conversation ended, she would go back to her warrior duties and just forget about him completely. Like every other cat in the clan. He was just a chore to teach apprentices responsibility.

The seal pointed tom narrowed his eyes as Basilflame claimed to see and hear him, then spoke of Aspenberry. “Aspenberry cares for nothing but herself. She won’t listen to you and even if she did, Fawnstar refuses to change her mind. They both claim it’s too dangerous to let me wander. They treat me like a feeble elder or newborn kit and are too stubborn to see the truth!” Boldclaw lashed his tail, angry. There was nothing that frustrated or irked him more than the topics of the clan’s deputy and leader. He felt slighted by them and since his appeals had fallen on deaf ears, he doubted that Basilflame’s would be heard any clearer. Truth be told, he had also forgotten that he and Aspenberry had grown up together. She acted so high and mighty that his mind had placed her into the category of snooty older cat.

“There’s no point in trying anymore, Basilflame,” the bitter tom meowed, lashing his tail yet looking more sad than angry. “I’m being punished for things that weren’t my fault and no one can change stubborn minds. They’ve given up on me. Most cats have, and you may as well too.” Boldclaw paused, hesitating for a moment. “I’m not the cat that was worth looking up to anymore.” Once more the black-brown and cream tom found himself being openly honest and vulnerable to Basilflame. He hated showing his wounds so clearly, but something about Basilflame encouraged him to open up. It was uncomfortable and he was beginning to hope that the encounter would end so that he didn’t have to face his thoughts and feelings anymore, but he also didn’t exactly wish to be alone. It was confusing.

I’d rather bear the weight of others than let others carry pain alone.

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"Just because it hasn't happened yet, that doesn't mean it won't." Basilflame began, her voice definite, not carefully crafted by a cat taking pity, but something more honest, more true to herself, true to Boldclaw. "You're right. Sleepswoon shouldn't have defined who you are. You shouldn't have been placed in the elders' den without a second thought. But moping about won't change things. And thinking that things won't change will push you in the wrong direction." The WindClan warrior's words went to remind her of something that she had told Sunbear when she was an apprentice... when her father died, far before his time. It worked for Sunbear... at least somewhat, maybe it would have some sway on Boldclaw, though, even though she had grown up by his side, she wasn't sure what his reaction would be.

Basilflame paused for a moment, then made the tentative decision to shuffle closer, not the a point where she would be pushing contact but somewhat an invitation. If Boldclaw didn't want to share tongues, that was a choice for him to make, and not an action she would push. "It isn't my decision. But this isn't the end Boldclaw. If you show Fawnstar and Aspenberry that you can do you duties without taking a turn for the worst, and... when the rogue is dead, we can do how that would go. But the important thing is not to give up on that passion that burned so bright in you when you were young, you are Boldclaw for a reason." Basilflame's voice took on a more serious tone, but it wasn't harsh, just sterner than usual. But it didn't waver, not once.

"I looked up to you, still do. Others can to, there is no reason that you should give up at a bump your path. You've got the strongest resolve I've seen in a cat, don't let the fire dim. Not for anyone." Basilflame paused, letting her words settle. "And if I can't convince Aspenberry or Fawnstar, I'll always be here, you'll always have a cat to talk to about this."

I’m still a Warrior no matter what you say!
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Boldclaw narrowed his eyes and glared at Basilflame. “And you think you can change their minds? They won’t listen to the cat with the complaint but your voice would matter more? Why? Because you suckled with the deputy? What difference does that make! We all spent our youths in the same den but she gets promoted to deputy and is suddenly better than the both of us!” The creamy tom was heaving with anger after his little tirade. So swiftly had his mood changed and for little reason more than frustration. He truly hated how vulnerable he had been with Basilflame, making the anger less regrettable. It was just easier.

“I’ve done everything I can! I don’t sit on my tail and mope all day! I try to plead my case every chance I get but it’s constantly ignored. I think Aspenberry just wants to drive me from the clan because I was better than her in our exams.” Whether his statement was fact or not was completely irrelevant to Boldclaw. As far as he was concerned, he had been the best apprentice ever and the only reason he could think of for his former denmate not acknowledging this fact was that she felt slighted by his sheer skill.

Despite his current hateful and angry mood, Boldclaw made no effort to move away from Basilflame as she shuffled closer. Whether he had noticed her move closer, though, was completely debatable as he was currently yawning and lashing his tail in anger. As the pretty she-cat spoke, the tom’s tail lashing settled into an irritated flick as he thought over what she said. To the pointed tom, he had thought he had lost all admiration when he was diagnosed with Sleepswoon, yet Basilflame’s words seemed to reflect admiration. Even so, he dared not look toward her in case this assumption was wrong and he was let down as a result. “But what can I do, Basilflame?” he mewed gently, hopelessly. “I can’t leave camp without being scolded. So I can’t do any warrior duties to prove them wrong. Great Starclan they won’t even let me go for a walk outside of camp like Sunbear can!”

Boldclaw slumped in misery, inadvertently shifting closer to Basilflame, allowing their fur to brush. Instinctively the Windclan elder’s fur twitched a few times in recognition of being touched and then settled. Moreover, he made no attempt or effort to move away, simply accepting her closeness. Truthfully Boldclaw was unsure of whether he wanted to be close to any cat, but so lost had he become that he decided to simply accept things as they were. Basilflame was, after all, the first to treat him like a warrior still, despite his condition putting him into the elders’ den.

I’d rather bear the weight of others than let others carry pain alone.

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A pause, letting Boldclaw rant, gave Basilflame a short amount of time to mull over any possibly solutions, she couldn't find many, she was in no position of power aside from being a senior warrior of the clan. And she wasn't even sure she deserved an honor like that. Even if she had two apprentices in the past, would she honor the role now? Or would Fawnstar's trust mean nothing in the end? Only StarClan knew, only they knew truly. Basilflame then turned to Boldclaw, speaking soft but firm. "I am not saying I can or can't do anything, I'm saying I can try If it will work is a completely different thing. All I can do... we can do right now for you is try and see what works." Her words came out as if she hadn't been able to control their flow, her heart and mind guiding her words before her mouth dared stop them.

When Boldclaw mentioned Sunbear's little outings, Basilflame stiffened for a moment. Sunbear was always insistent on her time alone, sure she always came back without a scratch, but the rogue isn't something that should be taken lightly... "I don't like Sunbear going out by herself either. It's dangerous with the rogue still roaming anywhere. I know the intent of not letting cats out alone, I agree no cat should be out alone at this time. But you being camp-bound isn't fair." Her fire colored tail flicked like a ever-present flame, a determined flick rather than anything laced in irritation or distaste. She hoped that her equally determined tone reflected that. "I'll take you out, hunting, whenever you like." she offered, though, soft as Basilflame's voice was, the offer wasn't light. She was willing to risk an attack on the two of them just for Boldclaw to feel useful again. There was nothing light about that.

"If Fawnstar, Aspenberry or Rowanglade want someone to scold they can talk to me." For a moment, her teeth bared, lips pursed for only a brief and barely audible moment before she composed herself. Anger wasn't really an emotion Basilflame took to feeling very often, there was little reason for anger when she lived in a place such as the clans. But she felt Boldclaw's frustration, his fury, his depression. She felt it as if it were her own, and she hated that it was eating him up so much. "Hunting is in our blood, to deny you of that is denying lungs of air. Whenever you'd like, I'll take you. If any other cats have something to say they'll say it to the both of us." 

Basilflame had seen herself an Boldclaw as friends when the two were apprentices, though she was unsure on if Boldclaw had felt the same friendship towards her, even if he hadn't it was never too late to start anew. It was never to late to recarve a path once buried. "I'll go with you, not as a guide, but as a hunting partner. You deserve better than this, and I want to do whatever it is I am able to, to ensure that this isn't what you're remembered for." if there was any pity in her voice before, it would have completely vanished now, her voice filled with a stony, strong, yet calm determination. "The choice is yours to make, Boldclaw. Shall we prove them wrong?"