Closed Thread Am I Doing This Right?

Love is just a cloudy sky as far as I can see
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Cloudflare's absence from camp was true for most of the morning having left early after returning from dawn patrol. In spirit it was mainly a hunting outing before the heat of the sun peaked at sunhigh, although the tom got a bit sidetracked and ended up retracing his steps back towards the riverclan border and the river itself. From trespass point and pausing at the falls to peer down into its waters from the edge. A Windclan cat might not have thought to try hunting at the water's edge, but in sake of keeping free from the sun's grip on a heaving, hunting body, he opted to sit and wait.

And wait he did tucked on his paws on the rocky shore, still as the stones he perched upon. Only once or twice his paw shot out to swipe at a minnow before it tumbled down the falls, but only managed one. It was hardly a mouthful and it vanished between his jaws. After another hour of waiting he found himself preyless once more, but was kept cooler by the spray of the falls. If he couldn't bring back prey to camp, he'd bring back a moisture sopping moss ball heavy with water. The journey back dampened his pelt, but in a good way, and felt refreshed as he entered camp with the moss between his fangs.

Copper eyes spotted Aspenberry from afar and his tail lifted in greeting. He placed the moss ball down in front of him once he was close enough and purred softly. "You're looking a bit parched, Aspenberry. Why don't you take a drink? Afterwards I'll bring this to the nursery."

'I am yet to understand my place in this world, but with you by my side, I know things just might be alright'
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With Aspenberry consumed by her own thoughts, she hadn't noticed the red tabby tom return to camp, and make his way towards her, so when he spoke, she gave him a startled and embarrassed look. 'Oh, Cloudflare, Hello!' she said quickly, shaking off her previous thoughts and paying attention to the present. She looked down at the mossball, considering if she would take a drink. She was a little thirsty, but knew it would be better of just going straight to the nursery. But then again, Cloudflare would probably insist she take some anyway. She bent down to drink a little, the cold water soothing her dry throat. She gave him a gracious nod, 'You know, I can get water myself...' she said lightheartedly. While brining her water was not exactly necessary, she still appreciated the action and gave him a quick head bump on the shoulder in thanks. 'I'll come with. I've got nothing better to do, and I like hanging around the nursery anyway'.

She got up and made her way over to the nursery with, sparking casual chatter. 'How was the dawn patrol? Nothing unusual to report I hope?' she questioned, not that she expected anything. Before he could even answer though, she continued with another question. Cloudflare was one of the cats she trusted most within WindClan, and one of her closest friends too. Surely that would make asking a little less awkward, right? 'Um, can I just ask you a question quickly? I'm just wondering how you think I'm doing as deputy. I feel like I've been doing alright, but really I feel quite in the dark. Its just.. how am I supposed to know if I'm making the right choices for patrols? Sending the right cats out to investigate something, or go do a simple job? Is everyone happy with me being deputy? What if everyone was expecting it to be someone else? Just, please be honest. I want to do a good job, and I can't if no one gives me any feedback.' she spurted out, letting her troubles roll of her tongue like flowing water. 

Love is just a cloudy sky as far as I can see
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Of course she could get water herself, but he wouldn't pass her by without at least offering a nice refreshing drink. It was the least he could do, and he had other stops to make on the way - so he may as well offer! With a smile that drenched his whiskers, he accepted her head bump with grace, giving off a soft purr in response. "Perfect." he remarked when she wanted to come with him. Fallkit would love to make friends with the deputy of the clan.

"Oh, well, yes. Actually. I found a rather comfortable clover patch that might do perfect for a little nap." Giving her a secretive little meow, they continued on their way, with Cloudflare once more taking the ball in his mouth and moving across camp. In a place like this one could hardly do anything on their own - it was a community that could be relied on, and who better than Aspenberry?

So when she expressed her doubts about being the clan deputy, Cloudflares kitty brows shot up expectantly. Bayflower must have heard and managed to turn their duo into a trio. It seemed they had something to add. Cloudflare merely wet his maw, lapping up a few stray droplets as he thought of his responce. "I certainly have no complaints." Voicing outloud once he had put the sopping moss ball down near the entrance of the nursery den. "I feel like... if I were in your paws, I wouldnt do much differently than what you have been doing. Sure, if you don't know a cat as well as the next it may be difficult to group them together and hope their are not complaints. You're certainly friendly enough, so even if cats did have gripes they would have come to you already. I think you're doing an outstanding job all circumstances considered."

'I am yet to understand my place in this world, but with you by my side, I know things just might be alright'
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A little shocked by Bayflower's sudden appearance, Aspenberry whipped her head around in surprise, but was only greeted with kind words from both cats. 'That's... good to hear I guess. If you both have little to say... that's all I need I guess. Thank you. But, do tell if you have any ideas. These paws are ready to work!'

'Did you say you had found a clover patch? You must show me next time we go out' Aspenberry meowed to Cloudflare, excited at the concept of a new napping spot. Maybe Cloudflare would come rest with her too. 

As they neared the nursery, Aspenberry's fur flattened a little, seemingly calmed down from her anxieties. For now at least, as this isn't something Aspenberry would just get over. She needed time, and to gain confidence in herself, which was always something the spotted she-cat had struggled with, but she never let it get in her way. 

'So, what do you both think about integrating some more group training into the clan? It will let our apprentices become more familiar with the other warriors, and allow those without an apprentice to still have a reason to practise their skills. It's something I considered, even as a warrior but I guess there was never a time to suggest it'. Aspenberry couldn't care less if her clanmates had little interest in the idea, for it was only an idea after all, but it was better to bring it to words rather than just let it fester in the back of her mind.

Love is just a cloudy sky as far as I can see
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While her thought that his new clover patch may have comfortably fit two, a third cat shouldn't be a problem. Cloudflare paused to consider his offer if he should extend it to Bayflower specifically, as he had hoped that maybe he and Aspenberry could have shared it alone. Nevertheless, the tom gave a nod, an ear flick giving any indication of his hesitation, but managed a smile. "Might be big enough for three. Will just have to squeeze a little closer."

"I'm not against some training, or sparring, with any of the apprentice or other warriors. It'll keep our skills claw-sharp. Brightpaw is nearly a warrior himself. I'd be happy if more wanted to join us." He shook out his pelt, exhaling softly as he dropped the sopping ball of moss at the entrance. Even if Fallkit and Brightmaple were not expectant within, he'd offer it to the elder's instead.

"Hmm... I hope it'd never happen, but perhaps we could incorporate a drill in case anything happens that would warrant an emergency. I've seen no omen to confirm anything - I'm no medicine cat - I think it might just help to be prepared." He imagined the remaining of his family, of Emberback, Brightpaw, and Piperpaw. Cloudflare only wanted his clan to thrive and be safe.

'I am yet to understand my place in this world, but with you by my side, I know things just might be alright'
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Bayflower wanted to come as well? The spotted she-cat did her best to hide any disappointment or awkwardness. She had been hoping it would be a good idea to spend some time with Cloudflare one on one, but Bayflower was her friend to and she couldn't just leave them out. There would be plenty of other times to spend time with Cloudflare, so she gave Bayflower a quick nod. 

'It might not be for everyone, but there is no harm it bringing it up. I'll bring it up with Fawnstar next time we both have a moment, but knowing me I'll forget' she meowed with a small laugh, keeping a respectable distance from the nursery to not disrupt whoever was inside. 'That's good to hear that you would be happy to bring Brightpaw along. I also had a question for you. It won't be long before Brightpaw will be ready for his ceremony, and I wanted to see how he was going. How would you feel about going on a patrol with him and I tomorrow. I was thinking he could lead, with us there to intervene and guide if anything goes awry. It's good practise for him for when he earns his name, and gives me a good idea to how his training is going, though if you don't think he's up to that yet, or have other plans that it fine.'

Cloudflare had mentioned an emergency drill of sorts and her eyes flickered with interest. 'That's probably a good idea. The kits, and younger apprentices will have no idea what to do in the case of an emergency, and even the warriors. Cats might panic and flee, or could try take the lead and end up making things more chaotic than already is. I'll start running through some options in my head later and bring them up with Fawnstar too. If she has objections to an emergency drill I'll be surprised' 

Love is just a cloudy sky as far as I can see
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Cloudflare was prepared to make good on his offer, which was originally spoken without an obvious receiver in mind. It was only after he spoke did he relaize that it might be taken a bit awkwardly, which wasn't his intention at all. He was prepared to share the clover patch, but Bayflower didn't seem to reciprocate all of the sudden. "See you around, Bayflower." The red tom was noticeably confused as Bayflower turned from them and withdrew from the conversation in a huff.

Cloudflare shifted awkwardly on his toes, watching them leave. Once they had worked their way from them, he turned, a bit crestfallen towards Aspenberry. "It was my fault for mentioning it in the first place..." he mumbled, pawing the moss ball gently. He glanced up at the spotted she-cat a bit sheepishly, and took a deep breath. The way Bayflower had spoken seemed to how a similar note to his late mother, and the disappointment and critism that rattled her throat whenever she spoke to her son. He had come a long way to becoming more confident, but it was a sheathed blow none the less.

'I am yet to understand my place in this world, but with you by my side, I know things just might be alright'
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The spotted she-cat's face flashed with confusion before the realisation hit. 'Bayflower! Wait!' she called out, but they were likely to gone to hear. She shut her eyes and sighed with frustration. She left her own stupid selfishness get in the way. 'I'm sorry Cloudflare.. I got a bit selfish I guess, hoping to have a comfortable moment with you. I can't just leave out Bayflower like that. It's not fair'. Her voice was a little panicky. She had done so well to overcome any anxieties she had when she was younger, but now it felt like the pressure was crashing down on her all over again. 

With her tail-tip resting gingerly on Cloudflare's shoulder, she looked him in the eye. 'Don't blame yourself. I acted rashly, despite trying to hide it. Thank you for the offer though. I will take it up sometime. But I need to apologise to Bayflower' Or just work out exactly how I feel... Normally who she spent her time with didn't matter, but here she was wanting to spend time with Cloudflare all to herself. 

With a frown on her face, she felt emotion run through her veins, a sick feeling almost. 'I'm so sorry Cloudflare I just ruined a nice moment with friends. You should go bring that to Brightmaple.' she said, not even waiting for him to respond before turning and trying to chase after Bayflower, her nose scrunched in irritation at herself. 

'I am yet to understand my place in this world, but with you by my side, I know things just might be alright'
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Aspenberry held her tongue for a moment, not exactly sure what to say. She hated confrontation like this, and could feel her stomach churning. She softly padded into the warriors den, seeing the hastily grooming shape of Bayflower at their nest. She approached cautiously, words unable to escape her mouth. 

'Bayflower? Are you alright? I... I'm sorry. I wasn't really thinking; about you. Just myself and it was a little selfish. I didn't take the time to think about your feelings and even tried to cover up my own hesitation. Honestly, I'm not really good in these sorts of situations but I hope you know I never meant to hurt you.' The spotted she-cat stepped closer to her black feline friend, shuffling into their nest beside them while wrapping her tail around them. 

'Do you want to talk? I'm not exactly sure how you are feeling right now, and it might be better if we are just open with each other. I can go first. To be honest I've been spending a little more time with Cloudflare than usual as of lately, and I'm really enjoying the times I spend with him, so I guess I just got excited about being able to spend some time alone with him at a comfy clover patch. I just completely disregarded you, and I'm sorry. I want you to know that you are one of my closest friends, and that I never meant to come across in a way that seemed like I was trying to not include or avoid you.' Aspenberry looked at her friend, doing her best to hide the anxious gaze from her eyes. If she stuffed things up with Bayflower, she would never forgive herself.

'I am yet to understand my place in this world, but with you by my side, I know things just might be alright'
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Aspenberry wanted to scold the feline, not in a harsh way but in a way that told them their thinking was stupid, but her tone cam out softer, 'You aren't being an immature kit. It's normal to feel, and it's especially normal to feel upset in a situation like this.' She wasn't even sure what exactly had upset her friend, but she didn't want to push them to explain, so would instead to her best to comfort them in other ways. Something about Bayflower seemed... off, yet she couldn't pinpoint what. She could have judged her friend wrong, but something was nagging at her, telling her not everything was okay, and she wouldn't leave until she knew Bayflower was alright, or at least would be alright. 

'I get jealous. A lot. Maybe not as much as I used to, or maybe I just hide it better now, sometimes when I see two of out clanmates together, having a good time a feel a pang in my heart. An unpleasant one that makes me want to feel sad, or be mad at them even though they have done nothing wrong. To me, these feelings we feel just tell me we care. That we care about others, other than ourselves and that we really do wish for fruitful relationships with each other. Whatever is bothering you might hurt now, but fundamentally it is a good thing in my eyes. To know I care, and that the people I care about care too.'