Smallbird

A small, blue broken mackerel tabby bicolor she-cat with amber eyes.

A gray broken Mackerel Tabby with a white chin, cheeks, chest, belly and paws. Her fur is short, but thick and very soft. She has a smallish, but lithe build that could be described as healthy or well-built. She has amber eyes and pale pink skin with a darker pink nose.

Smallbird is typically polite and friendly but not particularly social. She doesn’t input herself into conversations and rarely starts them herself. She’s not antisocial, more quiet and lacking self-confidence. This makes her unsure of herself and often she believes her presence to be unwanted. Despite this, she is not incapable of making friends, but when she does she can often become clingy and attention-seeking with those friends as she seeks for approval and validation that she is incapable of giving herself.

Obedient and methodical, Smallbird reliably always gets her daily tasks done. She is not one to question authoritative figures and even if she has doubts or concerns, she will do as told to the best of her abilities. This makes Smallbird rather easy to manipulate despite her being somewhat of an intelligent cat. Not the smartest, but certainly not the most stupid, Smallbird’s observational nature has caused her to be somewhat introspective. She has a tendency to see connections and solutions quickly in some situations.

As a result of her lack of self-confidence, Smallbird is often busy. Whenever she does idle, she begins to stress and worry that there is something she hasn’t done. If a task is thought of, she will be off to do that task. That said, Smallbird is not one to take on tasks that aren’t her responsibility as she sees her own tasks as too substantial to take on more.

• Born in the Moon of Melting Waters (2019) 118

Kittenhood [0-6 Moons]:

Smallbird was born to Thriftfeather and Pigeonwing. She never knew her father, however, as he had passed away before her birth. She was born with two brothers, Pebblekit and Spiderkit. Their mother was strict but not unloving. That said she wasn’t the most affectionate of cats and would easily get frustrated with the kits’ mistakes. Although the focus of her attention often seemed to be Pebblekit. The small tom would be punished for mistakes even before they were made. Having been born with a somewhat nervous disposition, Smallkit seemed to take these scoldings to heart even when they weren’t directed at her and learned to tiptoe around the adults in her life, lest she make a mistake and be scolded.

When Smallkit and her littermates were five moons old, illness struck the clan. While all three kits managed to survive, with Smallkit having caught kittencough and fortunately recovered quickly, their mother didn’t. It was hard for Smallkit to say what her brothers felt. Spiderkit seemed to feel nothing, while Pebblekit was decidedly harder to read. For her part, though, Smallkit was crushed. Sure their mother had been hard, but she had loved them and only wanted the best for them.

Apprenticeship [6-12 Moons]:

What effects being orphaned had on Smallkit were hard to say, but when the time came for her apprentice ceremony, the kit’s nerves became more noticeable. While most kits on this important day were eager and enthusiastic, Smallkit displayed signs of nervousness and embarrassment. She was horrified by the fact that she was to stand in front of the whole clan where any mistake would be seen as clear as day. Nonetheless, she stood in jittery silence next to her brothers until she was called and given her new name and mentor.

Flinttooth was an older tom known to have little patience, and Smallpaw was completely unsure of how to feel when he was named her mentor. Intimidated might have been the word for it. As the days cycled through, Smallpaw would dutifully learn from Flinttooth, having little time to rest aside from sleep time and rarely joining her brothers in group sessions. Flinttooth had recognised the nervousness in Smallpaw and decided the fewer distractions, the better for her. He also did not believe in idleness and ensured the young she-cat always had something to do. While this approach certainly ensured that Smallpaw learned her lessons, and learned them well, it did prevent her from truly working on her social skills. This in turn kept her self-confidence low as while she became proficient in her warrior skills, she noticed that her own awkwardness could cause others to feel uncomfortable.

Gatherings were difficult for Smallpaw, the noise and pseudo-requirement for socialisation stressed her out. When she did attend, she would linger near Flinttooth or her brothers and made little effort to talk to the other apprentices attending. As time passed and Smallpaw grew, however, she would make brief friendships with apprentices and young warriors in her own clan, but these did not last long. Whether the she-cat’s clinginess to those who seemed to like her eventually drove them off, or if she thought herself into feeling like a bother and drifted away, it was hard to say the true cause of these failed friendships. With luck, however, Smallpaw continued to hope to make a true, solid friendship.

Warriorhood [12 Moons to Current]:

This desire for friendship continued into her warrior years, deepening as she watched her brothers. Smallpaw had been horrified to hear the news of the fox Pebblepaw and his mentor had encountered. More so when she saw Jaysong’s injuries. Thankfully Pebblepaw had escaped safely and she was proud to watch him named Greypebbles as a result. Later on too, she watched with pride as Spiderpaw achieved his warrior name, Spidertongue.

With her brothers both named and herself still waiting, Smallpaw began to doubt herself more than ever. She managed to pass her exams and was soon given her warrior name, but the wait had done its damage. When Smallbird was given her name, she did not sit as proudly as most warriors, and she was jittery and jumpy all throughout her vigil. While she did maintain her silence successfully, her bushed up tail throughout the vigil told of her stress rather clearly.

Warriorhood was not as easy for Smallbird as her apprenticeship had been. Although she would hardly call that easy either. Without the guidance from her mentor, she found herself beginning to stress about whether she was completing all her tasks, and constantly convincing herself that she had forgotten something. She began taking to hunting whenever she wasn’t on a patrol, although Smallbird rarely volunteered to join patrols or to do other tasks around the camp, convinced she had enough to do as is, without taking upon more chores. Truthfully, the she-cat completed every task set to her at a methodical pace, without fail, but her self-confidence had grown so much that she was never convinced of her own adequacy.

• No threads have been recorded.

Grandfather: Goldenstar (@foxx)

Uncles: Savagefox (@kitsufox), Kestrelswipe (@mushroom)

Cousins: Cedarpaw (@chloe), Berrypaw (@xxbeewhiskerxx)

Credit and thank you to Faux for the Banner <3