Righto mate!
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

 

Quoll nodded silently at Duchess’ assessment that where he was now was rather different from what he knew. “I thought… maybe… well hoped… that it had just been the change in cycle that Manny talked abou’. He… well, he used to say tha’ the days would grow warm an’ den cold after a long time an’ that this change made the plants change colour an’ all.” The pale tom sighed and stared at his paws. “I s’pose I won’ get to see that now.” Misery welled in Quoll’s heart. His life seemed to be constant change that he didn’t ask for or seek. He half expected that once he did eventually settle into this new life like he had after being taken away from his family, it would all change again. A wave of anxiety hit the tom, along with resentment toward his Fur. It had been him, after all, who had packed him into that box and sent him into the rumble rooms that led to here.

The young tom tilted his head. “But I ain’t never gonna see ‘em again, am I?” he half wailed in distress. This change was just almost too much to bear. He had been taken his family and it had been the hope that he would meet them again that had kept him going, but this time that hope didn’t even exist. “It was bad enough when he took me away from them the first time, but this time I can’ even hope to see anyone… or anything I knew again.” Quoll slumped down, laying pitifully on the grass at Duchess’ paws.

After a while the bengal tom looked up at Duchess, his grief plain in his blue eyes. “I don’t want to stay here,” he mewed quietly. “Not with him. He keeps changing my life the moment I get to enjoy it.” Quoll sighed heavily. “But I can’ leave either. I wouldn’t last two spits of rain before something happened. I can’ hunt, fight, or even know how teh find shelter. Wha’ am I gonna do? Wha’ should I do?” Never before in his short life had Quoll considered leaving his Fur, but now, knowing that the creature could cause such devastation to his heart, his desire to stay in his cosy life had almost completely vanished. Fear kept him from deciding to finally leap his boundary and explore, but a sort of desperation to do just that was now welling in the young tom’s heart. He would be smart about it though. Learn how to do the things Manny and the other strays had always spoke about when mocking or admiring his lifestyle.

Healing is a matter of time,
but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity.

‹‹‹‹ ››››

Rowanglade glanced outside the entrance of her domain. The camp floor was still showing the evidence of the morning’s drizzle but the clouds that could be seen in the sky above the outer wall were thinning. Leaf-fall still didn’t have a strong hold yet, the season drawn long by the blue moon that was coming. But it was an excellent time to educate her apprentices on the matter.

She had assembled the pair after giving them the morning to get to know each other a bit. It was unusual to have two apprentices so close to the same age, but not unheard of. There were very old legends, rarely told, about callings of a pair. Certainly these pairs were usually true twins that had shared a sac in the womb. The story of Ashpaw and Muddypaw was different, but training together would still leave both of them changed. For the better, she couldn’t help but hope.

“Once a year StarClan gives us a season that’s longer than normal, one with an extra moon in it. This year it’s in leaf-bare, and the next moon.” Rowanglade began, pitching her voice so that even if they’d be distracted they would likely hear.

What are you afraid of losing if nothing in the world actually belongs to you.

˜”*°• 🐚 •°*”˜

Goosesong's usually guarded posture loosened at Cottonbright's touch, the softness of her gesture seemed to rub off on him as well. But as much as she comforted him about it, he couldn't help but think of the terrible... terrible what ifs. However, that wasn't his decision to make if Cottonbright wanted kits, then there would be kits. And if she wanted Goosesong to sire them, who was he to say no? After all, when would a chance like this come along for him again? Likely not for quite a long time.

"Then you'll have kits." Goosesong finally replied leaning into her a bit, but their matched size made the weights even out. He hoped he wouldn't move her with the rare affection that was only reserved for her... and her kits, if they shall be. 

At her admittion of wanting him and the kits the same, he softened his expression from worry, to a faint amusement beneath the stone. "If that is selfish, then we can be selfish together." He said with a soft chuckle, though it was more-a-less a few amused catches of breath than anything else. "I don't have many friends, Cottonbright, and if all goes well, I'm certain you'd be a fantastic mother to your kits... our kits." He whispered, it felt strange to say... almost. Goosesong, siring kits? It felt strange yes, but it felt right too. Like something he was meant to do, and was given the honor to do so. 

Goosesong struggled not to let the warmth between him engulf him entirely, it was so tempting, to simply be here, to exist beside Cottonbright for as long as he could. It felt nice, with her here.

There’s always something new to try. I’m hungry for all of it!

⋆⋅❆⋅⋆ ❄️ ⋆⋅❆⋅⋆

"You struck the vole's heart on that one, Cricketkit! That's both the warriors' den, and the one I sleep in." She praised warmly, smiling down at the torbie kitty with a toothy but encouraging grin. "But all the other warriors sleep there too, of course, one day, you'll also have a nest will all of us strong warriors. Maybe you'll even rival my abilities. We'll see, won't we darling." She purred down to the kit rubbing her back with her sleek, striped tail.

When Cricketkit spoke of Bloomfire and her treatment of the poor kit, the blue ticked she-cat was just about ready to rip off that entitled queen's whiskers and push her muzzle into the dirt. But Hailstrike wouldn't do that, it wasn't her, she'd definitely think about it though. Perhaps Bloomfire didn't deserve something so harsh, but to Hailstrike she deserved worse. No cat makes a kit feel worthless on her watch. "You're brave for speaking your mind, Cricketkit." She meowed softly, crouching down next to the kit, just close enough for Cricketkit to lean on her if she wanted to. "It is completely okay to feel hurt when someone you should be able to trust acts unkindly. Being born to a cat doesn't mean you belong to them if they don't treat you with the love you are very much deserving of."

Hailstrike's words were soft but filled with an undeniable certainty, making sure the kit knew that despite whatever Bloomfire had said to her, she was there to talk to her when she needed it. "Bloomfire gave you life, but that doesn't mean that she owns you, what you do with your life is your decision alone. Not even I can decide what you do." Hailstrike usually wasn't the motivational type unless on hunting patrols, this was different, Cricketkit needed her, and if Bloomfire wasn't going to do the job right, Hailstrike would gladly take over. "Bloomfire doesn't define who you are, what defines you is the cat you choose to be every single day. A true warrior, the best warrior, is not cruel or mean. You're Cricketkit, not just a kit that Bloomfire kitted, don't let who your parents are turn you into a cat you don't want to be." With a gentle huff, Hailstrike found herself softly grooming the fur on Cricketkit's body, softly and steadily, enough to be present... unlike a certain queen...

"Remember that its the duty of the whole clan to make sure you're happy and healthy. We're your family as much as the cat that kitted you, we just don't all share the same blood." She stated between licks as she curled a paw around the kit, still not entirely certain on the whole 'comforting' thing. Simply hoping that all of her words were getting through to her. "There will always be cats in camp willing to look out for you, guide you and share their nests. You will never be alone."

"Especially with me around."

Pressure like a drip, drip, drip that'll never stop, whoa. Pressure that'll tip, tip tip 'till you just go pop, whoa.
❖ ⭒ ❖ ⭒ ❀ ⭒ ❖ ⭒ ❖

Despite everything Cottonbright feared, Goosesong had not laughed or recoiled at her suggestion. Her lime-green eyes found his face and the worry there made her chest ache. "Oh Goosesong..." She sighed as she pushed herself upright and moved closer.

"I've...thought about that too." All the dangers and uncertainties she might have thought about a hundred times over. "B-But we keep living anyway." Brows arching her expression was expactant and soft, endlessly patient when it came to her friend.

When he admitted he'd imagined retiring togethe, the two of them, she let out the smallest, most incredulous laugh. It was all the relief she was feeling from the exchange. "You say that like it's unrealistic...We should try it." She moved to bump her cheek against him affectionately. The future she imagined never stopped at kits...but there was always the possibility.

His answer brought an inevitable purr. "I w-want the kits...But I want you too. Probably makes me selfish, but as long as you don't mind." Smiling at him with lime eyes bright and nestled a bit closer, enjoying the warmth.

What are you afraid of losing if nothing in the world actually belongs to you.

˜”*°• 🐚 •°*”˜

Goosesong laid his head down beside Cottonbright, staring at her as she spoke, as if every word enchanted him. But her mention of carrying kits made his ears prick. And then... him? A sire? If he was being honest with himself, he hadn't thought it was in his destiny until now, he had never thought about it beside a small fantasy. But Cottonbright was here, now, asking him. While he wanted a bloodline, close kin in the clan, he wanted Cottonbright too. 

"It's risky, but not foolish. Filling the nursery is a noble thing. But..." Goosesong replied to her finally, not moving his haze from her. He was unsure if she was aware of all the risks that were out of their control, surely she was... but this seemed to be what she wanted. "It's dangerous to bring kits into the world as it is fulfilling, Cottonbright. Things could go wrong. I would love to sire a litter for you, but I still worry that the kits will be all that will be left of you when the day comes. I don't want to lose you." His eyes clouded with worry as he moved to sit back up.

The silver tom's aqua eyes glanced up at the sky, the scent of heather surrounding him as he curled his tail tightly around his paws. "But perhaps that's selfish of me. It's not my decision. I just cant seem to imagine a life without you in it" he added, he could imagine Cottonbright being gone, but it just seemed... empty, but if she did... she would leave kits behind. While they mightn't fill the space... that could be enough.. maybe. "It's silly, but I was imagining that we would retire together in the future." He let out a self-deprecating sigh, close to a chuckle, but not exactly. "I suppose I should think a little more realistically though, shouldn't I?"

"But. If you're certain. I will be the sire to a litter of your own."

What’s out there?
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

 

Cricketkit paused and looked around then opened her mouth when Hailstrike told her to focus on the smells. She hadn’t intended to go toward a den, but the warrior didn’t seem mad with her so she assumed it must be okay. Breathing in deeply, Cricketkit tried to work out what they had arrived at. It wasn’t the Nursery, that was certain, she wouldn’t go there unless she had to, plus she would recognise it instantly. The number of different cat scents told her it wasn’t the leader’s den or medicine cat’s den. That left the elders’, apprentices’ and warriors’ dens, none of which she had ever had much to do with. Bloomfire didn’t seem to approve of her socialising with the elders. Or even leaving the nursery all that much. Something about how a cat of her lineage didn’t need to listen to the ramblings of old nobodys.

“Mmm,” Cricketkit hummed when Hailstrike prompted her to answer. “I’m not sure. Given the number of cat scents it’s probably the warriors’, apprentices’, or elders’ den but I don’t think Riverclan has so many elders’ or apprentices?” The little ticked torbie looked up at the pretty warrior for some hint to confirm or dispel her theory. Regardless of Hailstrike’s reactions, however, the little kit went on with her thoughts, “So I think it’s the warriors’ den? Is this where you sleep?” Cricketkit blinked up at Hailstrike with wide, curious eyes and glanced toward what she now saw to be the den’s entrance.

For a moment the young she-kit felt bad for not having paid more attention around the camp. If she had, she would have surely noticed which cats entered and left here to know exactly which den this way. Then her guilt switched to anger. If Bloomfire would let her explore and ask every cat questions, maybe she would actually know more about her home than she currently did. “Why can’t Bloomfire just let me explore like this? Or answer my questions without getting mad at me for asking?” Cricketkit meowed in an angry and hurt tone. “I should know which den this is by now, without having to guess or think, but she never lets me learn anything but proper behaviour. I hate being her kit.”